Convention Tension

By Dylan Barman

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Teachers Convention, Atlantic City, New Jersey- While the student body of Pascack Hills enjoyed a 4-day weekend, the teachers had their own “fun” at New Jersey Education Association (NJEA) Convention 2017 in Atlantic City.

Thursday kicked off for Pascack Hills teachers when they met at the school to take a 7:30 AM bus down to Atlantic City. There were multiple witnesses of Mr. and Mrs. Goodman’s lack of sleep because “the kids kept us up all night bouncing on the bed and drawing on each other with sharpies.” In addition to this there are also reports of Mrs. McDonald and Mr. Alexander getting in a fight over the last bagel in the cafeteria. Sources say Mrs. McDonald lost.

At noontime the bus arrived at Atlantic City, and teachers either went to their rooms or straight to the slot machines. Sophomore chemistry teacher Mr. Comanto was removed from the gambling floor because security personnel thought he was underage, but it was quickly cleared up by Mr. Wieland. Sources are still unsure who was more embarrassed, the security guards or Mr. Comanto.

At 5 PM Ms. Gamgort was spotted in an argument with business teachers from other schools. Someone familiar with the incident claims it was debate over which school’s DECA team is going to win the most trophies this year. The other DECA advisors involved in the incident were from Pascack Valley, Ridgewood High School, and Northern Highlands Regional. School officials from all three have decline to comment.

At 8 PM the opening ceremonies of the NJEA Convention 2017 began. During the roll call of schools, Mr. deMarrias was nowhere to be found to represent Pascack Hills on the stage, and an awkward silence stuck the convention. Finally, the school principal arrived on stage, in his pajamas; albeit “Hills Pride” pajamas.

On Friday morning the Pascack Hills teachers did not enjoy their overpriced, and not-at-all tasty breakfast from the casino/hotel they were staying at. Some teachers tried to get food delivered, but Mr. deMarrias caught them before they could do so. He reminded them that having food delivered is a new school policy. According to an anonymous source their punishment was getting the worst seats on the bus ride home.

That afternoon continued with seminars. A source confirmed that Mr. Bruh was spotted in the seminar “Why AP Gym Should Be a Thing”, and there is a possible video of him getting quite emotional, however the video has not been corroborated. During another seminar around the same time Mrs. Marootian-Miller was thrown out because the speaker made an offensive comment about Armenian food, and her reaction was described as “quite hostile and aggressive.”

By 6:30 PM Friday the Pascack Hills delegation was on the bus home, however the ride took much longer than expected because the driver forgot the E-ZPass, and had to wait in the “Exact Change” lines at every tollbooth on the Garden State Parkway. All Mr. deMarrias had to comment was “Next year I’m sending Paspalas”, and he then drove off to get food from the new Wegmans.