We love them, we can’t stand them, and we might even be forced to run a Turkey Trot with them. Who are they? Family. They’re the type of people that you can suffer through a birthday phone call with once a year, but Thanksgiving is different. Thanksgiving is all day. It’s an emotional marathon that requires an extraordinary amount of patience, fake smiles, and lying to your grandmother about your straight A grades. And of course, the anticipation of whether or not you’ll actually make it to the adult table this year.

“I’m at the little kid table, and I’m still literally sitting with people who are already engaged,” said Eric Traub, as he stared despondently into space. As if that wasn’t enough, Traub has to deal with the awkward conversation between him and…his cousin? Family friend? He isn’t too sure. “She’s not my cousin but she is related to me somehow. She has had the same boyfriend for the last four years and she always expects me to know her boyfriend’s name but I never know her boyfriend’s name.”

The uncertainty isn’t only about the guests. Riley Solomon says, “I didn’t even know my cousins had a dining room because I’ve always been in the kitchen with the little kids. We’re not little, but sometimes they still make us eat in the basement with the real little kids”.

A true Thanksgiving tragedy that only gets worse.

“I have a psychotic Aunt,” said Hilary Siegel, as the rest of the class nodded in agreement and said, “Me, too”.

What constitutes a psychotic Aunt exactly?

“Mine just dances on the table and asks when we’re getting our ears pierced together.” said Melanie Meisner.

Although it didn’t look like Melanie would be heading to the mall anytime soon to get her second hole pierced, the discussion presented a startling realization: Would she have to get her ears pierced on black Friday with her Aunt?

Speaking of which, let’s talk about Black Friday festivities. Or rather, Black Friday violence.

“A lady elbowed me in the face once on Black Friday,” said Erin B, shaking her head with indignation.

Erin is not alone in her disdain for the day and all it stands for. “If I had the choice between being trampled by a herd of buffalo or a crowd of shoppers in the mall on Black Friday, I would choose the buffalo,” said Matt Wikfors. “At least the buffalo won’t snatch the newest iPhone out of your hand and run off.”

All negativity and drama aside, Thanksgiving is an exciting time of celebration with friends and family. From the food to the shopping, Thanksgiving is the perfect precursor to the start of the Holiday season. At the end of the (holi)day, there seems to be only one question that remains.

In the words of Eric Traub, “What if you actually are the crazy relative and you think you’re in on the joke but really you are the joke?”